Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
