i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
