oh god the rape fog is back!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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