I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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