But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
