I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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