Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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