i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize