try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
