hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
