I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
