It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
