I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
