I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
