the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
