You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
