Do vagina's smell?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize