I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We were destined to go to rehab together
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
