I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
