Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
