According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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