For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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