mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im calling her cock vulture from now on
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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