I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
