No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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