Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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