Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
