spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
