my vag is so smooth its legendary
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
