I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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