Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
