just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we're so committed to being not committed
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
