I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
