from now on my penis is your penis
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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