I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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