Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
