What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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