Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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