on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I need a beard to bite.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
