i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize