Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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