Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
