is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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