oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
