u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
