did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
