i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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