You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
