If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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