i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I won the penis lottery.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
