is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
