omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
