I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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