i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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