Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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