I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
