1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently you make a good broom.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
