When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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