i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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