He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
