I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize