dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
