But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
