We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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