he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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