You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
