I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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