Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
