You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
