Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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