I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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